Defamer Screening Report: 'Mission: Impossible 3' Uncomfortably Mirrors Real Life

A high-level Defamer operative files this brief report on last night's test screening for Tom Cruise's latest excuse to go on a press tour and entertain the world with his thoughts on love and psychiatry, Mission: Impossible 3 [MILD SPOILER ALERT]:

Saw a finished print of M:I3 last night at a test screening in the valley. At one point when Tom Cruise is trying to explain to Michelle Monaghan that he has to go away on a "business trip" (i.e. secret mission), she asks him if their relationship is "real" to which he responds "of course it's real." Our row snickered with laughter.

Also, not sure if it was intentional, but the end of the movie features a reference to "The Cruise." When Tom rides off into the sunset with his girl, his co-workers do the fists in the air stance from Oprah. Hifuckinglarious.

Given that our spy made no mention of a scene in which a hysterical Monaghan clutches a positive pregnancy test and cries to Cruise, "I don't understand, we didn't even have sex! And this is totally not in my contract!" we have to assume that any similarities between the film's plot points and the actor's life, no matter how funny and eerie they seem, are merely coincidental. Had the humorless Cruise thought there was even a whiff of an inside joke at his expense, he immediately would have ordered director J.J. Abram's death.