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Defamer is committed to bringing together dateless, self-described up-and-coming professionals in the legal field with one of the ten or so people in this town still impressed by the idea of attending the same social function as Tom Cruise. Trolls a Craigslister:


Attention ladies....This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

I am looking for a date to the premiere and after-party for Tom Cruise's latest hit film Mission Impossible 3. It should be an incredible event...whether you like movies or not. A premiere is always exciting...stars, paparazzi galore...

The after party in Hollywood should be spectacular...Tons of stars will be there including Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Rey Mysterio, Vince Vaughn, Ving Rhames, Keri Russell, Sharon Stone, and the star couple themselves, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

As for me, I am a young entertainment lawyer in the Hollywood area...My career is about to take off (I hope)...I am fun, young, good looking, great body, sexy face, and tons of fun to party with.

I am looking for a girl on Craigs List because I am single and would like to meet someone new and love the variety that CL has to offer...

If you are looking for a sweet, sexy guy with muscles who loves giving massages and making women happy...and as a bonus, can give you legal advice and take you to a great party, I am your guy.

Of course, an overwhelming response is please send a pic and hopefully a contact number...Many are interested, one will win...It could be you!!

If entering the sweepstakes to "win" a date with our muscular, lady-pleasing legal eagle doesn't appeal to you, don't despair, there are far less unsavory options available to you, like blowing a cater waiter working the event or hanging around the front of the venue as Cruise arrives and bragging that no one—no one!—could possibly detox you of heroin in fewer than five days.