Earlier in the week we introduced you to the Deal or No Deal Banker's Blog, in which the famously silent silhouette shares his world view with the adoring masses. In his latest post, it appears just a few months spent living in the shadows of Howie Mandel's large, bald head has quickly taken its toll on the Alan Greenspan of the game show set:
I need a break...
From these contestants with their constant whining. "That's not enough money, Mr. Banker". "You're so mean, Mr. Banker". Duh. Don't they get it? It's my job to get them off the show with as little money as possible. That's what I do. Seriously.
Don't even start with me about their little stories about their little lives. If I have to hear about another "deserving" teacher, I'll hurl a bucket of bile right out the Bank window onto the stage.
Now that we'd definitely tune in for, especially if the bucket of bile landed on one of the briefcase-toting models, upon which the humiliated part-time dance instructor would seal all the exits with her telekinetic powers and zap terrified audience members to death with gaffer's cables. We fear Banker's bark is worse than his bite, however, and no bodily fluids will be spilling forth from his fake trading room any time soon. Still, the question lingers: Just who is he? A reader wrote in to inform us that a bartender at the Belmont who looks like Dustin Hoffman has been telling customers that he's the Banker. And yet, why do we get the feeling that every bartender in LA is telling their customers the same, nearly impossible-to-verify story? And finally, if you missed this SNL parody in which Antonio Banderas can't seem to grasp the show's basic yet completely counterintuitive rules, you can catch it on NBC.com.