Hollywood PrivacyWatch Special Edition: Katie Holmes Returns To Barneys

Even with seemingly the entire world huddled before the gates of Tom Cruise's compound, awaiting news of the birth of the Miracle Baby, Katie Holmes is able to escape through the estate's system of underground tunnels and emerge inside Barneys New York in Beverly Hills, where she wanders aimlessly, heavy with fake child. Reports a Defamer operative on Holmes' third documented Barneys trip in the past two weeks:

Was at Barneys in Beverly Hills on Friday and saw Katie Holmes with her entourage of four handlers. We were buying shoes in the men's department (fourth floor) and she mulled around the Zegna section for about five minutes, talking to a man who looks like Tom (but taller, and more attractive). The girl looks like she's packing a damned beach ball. I don't know what to think, I've never seen such a bizarre-looking "pregnant" woman in my life. Anyhow, they left in the elevators and we saw them leave from Greengrass on the fifth floor.

The advanced stages of pseudopregnancy, it seems, have sapped any rebellion from Holmes. Not too long ago, she stole quick trips to the coffee shop for a macchiato and a chance to consider her predicament in temporary semiprivacy. But now Holmes strolls breezily through a full-blown temple of retail, parading in front of an army of waiting photographers, searching for the kind of high-priced, desginer footwear that might please her captor.

She may be truly lost to us.