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Hey, anyone got an extra placenta handy? Tom Cruise is hungry, and he's got a hankering for some fresh afterbirth. Or so say those excitable lads across the pond, who have splattered "Tom Chews" across the Daily Mirror, certain to nauseate many a British reader before they've had their morning tea. In the May issue of GQ, which just hit UK newsstands, Cruise says:

"I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there."

The BBC also corroborates this story, and shame on them for not knowing better. Have all the fried pork breakfasts blurred your good judgment? The issue has been here for a week and you've not seen a single one of our press outlets take that quote seriously — and believe us, if Tom Cruise earnestly confessed to dining on anything even slightly weird, our tabs would be all over it. He may chew on Oprah's sofas, inhale all of Matt Lauer's prescription medicine, and lick the hell out of his BlackBerry, but he doesn't eat natal uterine lining. The monthly stuff, maybe. But nothing related to the baby, for chrissakes. He's not insane.

Update: Actually, it's come to our attention that in his recent Primetime interview with Diane Sawyer, he joked about eating placenta and then noted that the media would run it as a serious quote. Way to follow instructions, everyone.

Tom Chews [Mirror UK]
Cruise Will 'Eat Baby's Placenta' [BBC]