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You may recall reading about a certain unpleasantness between Aaron Spelling and his one-time nurse, Charlene Richards. She sued the decrepit TV hit-machine for sexual harrassment, but not before sending out over 600 questionnaires to former actresses from Spelling's series, asking if they had also been harrassed. He shot back with his own suit, claiming the questionnaires had both defamed him and violated a confidentiality agreement Richards had signed. A judge has partially ruled on the case, claiming the defamation count has no merit, but that the confidentiality breach does:

"He wants a private home — whether he eats Cheerios or Wheaties or oatmeal imported from Denmark on a supersonic jet," [Judge William] Highberger said.

Clearly, the Judge couldn't help but take a thinly veiled swipe at Spelling's notoriously lavish domestic habits. Highberger's outlandish rich man's fantasy, however, was clearly the limited concoction of someone who knows only a civil servant's salary: For not only is jetting in Danish gruel a commonplace compound activity, but Mr. Spelling also demands that his favorite porridge fixings of brown sugar and banana be boated in daily from Costa Rica, preferably mulched by any unlucky field workers who happened to be netted in the automated harvesting process.