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Wherein we invite our readers to mentally keel-haul themselves on the front of humpy E! gossip buccaneer Ted Casablanca's pirate ship by guessing the identity of his weekly blind item. Today, we're treated to one of the only activities more common than starlets blowing rails in nightclub bathroom stalls or supposedly straight actors blowing twinks in nightclub bathroom stalls: a musician getting laid on a tour bus. Assume the position for One Randy 'n' Rockin' Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Oh, who cares! We have better thumpin' things to talk about today. Like, say, crooner Dinky Rider and his pretty damn serious girlfriend, Clenched Class. Here's what's funny: C.C. is so sumptuous (though some would call the babe prissy) that it's hard to picture her in something as common and practical as...a bus. Yet D.R. is quite the opposite when it comes to moving vehicles (his private parts most definitely included). There was a concert. Girlies galore were stampeding Mr. R., who was doing his best to shun the horny honeys, as things are superserious between C. 'n' D. Keep that lovely sentiment in mind while we zoom in on a bus parked backstage for Dinky's private use." Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to tips[AT] with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.