Peter Braunstein Uses His Left Hand

We know you've been wondering the same thing as us: What's former Women's Wear Daily staffer and suspected faux-firefighter sex perv Peter Braunstein been up to? Since stabbing himself in the neck upon being apprehended in Tennessee in December, we've heard surprisingly little about his case, other than that he's currently sulking around Bellevue. The Post, however, has an update — that is, if you believe their source, a former patient at Bellevue named William Allman who spent 18 days at the mental hospital with Braunstein. According to Allman, Braunstein hordes food, cries about being picked on, likes to harasses a semi-conscious old Chinese man, and conceals his masturbation with a newspaper.

In fact, he's probably using today's Post right now. It feels so much more pleasurable when the copy has a story about him.

Life Inside With Bullying & Perving Peter [NYP]