This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Wherein we invite our readers to doff their modesty towels and submit themselves to the full-service treatment of humpy E! gossip masseur Ted Casablanca, and in the afterglow of their vigorously delivered release, take a stab at the identity of his weekly blind item. Cover yourself in the heated rocks of One Lucky Bastard Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "How does one describe Chumpy Lumpy? He's not hot, hell, no. He's almost cute, in that "neighbor who feeds your cat and leaves a smiley note on the counter" sort of way. Chumpy's the guy your sister would describe as "supernice." But if you asked your sibling if she wanted to do him, she would swat you with her nail polish, roll her eyes and start talking about how hot Johnny Depp is. Regardless, get a hold of the following: The rumors that Mr. Lumpy is hooking up with semi-famous cable hunk Prance Butt have been around for a little while. Good for Chump, I said to myself. Because, hey, who doesn't like to see a has-been doofus get some play, right?" Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to tips[AT] with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.