Marlee Matlin: Gay For Pay


No, not even a show about the escapades of a group of oversexed LA lesbians and starring Jennifer Beals could convince us to pay the Showtime subscription fee, though we must admit they have just sweetened the deal with the addition of Marlee Matlin to the cast. According to the AP, Matlin's character is "a fiery artist who catches the attention of Jennifer Beals' character." We're pretty sure "fiery" in this instance is family-friendly newspaper code for "insatiable woman-on-woman-loving slutbag," though the coyly reported story makes no guarantees Matlin will submit to the onetime Flashdancing welder's allure. USA Today's caption on the accompanying photo further confuses things, claiming Matlin is "Jessica Biel's new love interest,"* which we'll dismiss as the unfortunate byproduct of a horny photo editor allowing his deskbound fantasies to bleed into his professional life.

*As a commenter pointed out, the caption also calls the series an "HBO show," demonstrating how not even the trusted voices of America's Newspaper are immune to the brain-dissolving effects of hot premium cable all-girl action.