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• Just because Britney Spears is knocked up again doesn't mean that she's content: rumors continue that she wants out of her marriage to Kevin Federline. So sweet of her to make the new baby special by threatening to bastardize it. [Scoop]
• Incarcerated pimp Jason Itzler claims Charlie Sheen was a stellar client, spending $20K on two lovely ladies who were thrilled to learn that the actor had a formidable package. You blew it, Denise. Dickhead. [Page Six]
• Diddy came all the way from Miami for the Time 100 party, only to learn that Oprah wasn't there. Not even the world's largest entourage can disguise that sort of disappointment. [Lowdown]
• Perhaps worried about word that Alec Baldwin is a holy terror, a publicist plants a lovely item about Baldwin's wonderful relationship with Nicole Seidel. [Page Six]
• Bionic Rolling Stone Keith Richards may be even more fucked up than previously thought. [IMDb]
• No longer in love with Tom Cruise, Rosie O'Donnell offers to get him the help he so desperately needs. [R&M (last item)]
• Jessica Simpson's best friend and personal assistant Cacee Cobb calls it quits on the latter position. But we all know that if you quit one, you're getting fired from the other. [Us Weekly]