Hooker Cheerleaders Come To Sheen's Rescue

Charlie Sheen has finally caught a break from the onslaught of relentlessly negative publicity surrounding his ongoing divorce from estranged, Sambora-smooching wife Denise Richards, as a jailed pimp reminded Page Six of Sheen's All-American, straight-guy-with-too-much-money appetite for hookers dressed as cheerleaders:

"They loved Charlie. They said he was a great guy, a great lover and had a big [bleep]," Itzler said from prison, where he's cooling his heels on money-laundering and prostitution charges. "One time, he had them dress up like cheerleaders and they chanted, 'Charlie, Charlie, he's our man! If he can't do it, nobody can!' " Itzler also said Sheen would play X-rated movie director, guiding Cheryl, 20, and Victoria, 19, into steamy lesbian scenes.

"Charlie says the story is 100 percent bogus. [Itzler] is just trying to save his ass," Sheen's publicist, Stan Rosenfield, fumed to Page Six.

Assuming for a moment that Sheen's "fuming" flack didn't trade a carton of Marlboro lights for the incarcerated pimp-supplied anecdote that momentarily drowns out Richards' allegations that the actor likes online "gay pornography...involving very young men who also did not look like adults" with the pleasant din of the heterosexuality-enforcing cheers of the totally legal (the ages were a great touch) bisexual spirit squad, Team Sheen has to be thrilled with today's "100 percent bogus" story. But they shouldn't let this fleeing victory in the scandal-sheet war make them complacent, as they can be sure that Denise Richards' people are readying their next public salvo, probably something involving Sheen trying to trade one of his children for a night with a high-school football team.