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Wherein we invite our heroic readers to penetrate the secret, underground lair of humpy E! gossip-supervillain Ted Casablanca and free his weekly blind item from its cruel imprisonment in a cage of inscrutable language. Today's offering explores the often suspicious relationship between celebs and the people who encourage the sweaty, straining stars to keeping pumping away until muscle failure, personal trainers. Fluff up One Squat-Ready Vice:

Ted sez: "Toothy Tile has some clandestine company these days, and I'm not just referring to those starry dudes who are dangling soclose to suddenly revealed homo-card territory. Not at all. Ya see, Dubba Do-Me has been right out there, for years, walking that tightrope of pretend-hetero public infatuation, (mostly) stellar entertainment delivery and private-trainer poking, among other closely paid companions. Yes, yes, yes, said trainers are boys, all boys. They're the ones who secretly visit D.D.-M. on his myriad film sets, where Dubba's trailers always resemble many homes on the Great Plains, size- and price-wise." Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to tips[AT] with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.