But How Is Jen Holding Up? Part II: Aniston Learns Of The Chosen One's Birth

Ever since Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced that the couple was supplementing their adopted brood with a biological offspring, the tabloids' favorite psychological bloodsport has been the constant monitoring of Jennifer Aniston's emotional state in the wake of her ex-husband's hasty insemination of the first appropriately famous uterus willing to accept his genetically desirable seed. Accordingly, Star reveals Aniston's reaction to the news that her dread has been made flesh:

"The nauseous feeling I expected to have when I heard the news," she told a friend, "is smaller than I thought." But, another insider adds: "It's hard for her not to be resentful."

A mild nausea in the face of potentially world-shaking news is a nice indicator that she's finally moving on, the latest step in an incremental process that will be tracked across the pages of various glossies well into menopause. But it's not nearly as compelling as the psychotic break the magazines were hoping for, in which Aniston abandons her SUV in the middle of a busy intersection, fires a handgun into the air, and demands that the first motorist she encounters immediately drive her to Africa so that she can put Pitt's newborn inside her own womb, where it really belongs. Oh, well. Better luck with the next baby.