Got a single-featured startup? Done pretending you have the revenue to go public? Dot-commers, forget about selling your flipmeat to the usual Web 2.0 carnivores. The classic consolidaters of the industry are back in business.
The Wall Street Journal pimps the mad buying skillz of IBM and Microsoft. Yep, buying the competition is still Business Strategy #1, with IBM chalking up 16 buys, Microsoft 22.
Which mega-corporation should you flip to? Here's a rough guide:
- Boring and useful: The Chronicle won't put you in the Datebook. The WSJ says you're too ugly for a pointillated portrait. Your B2B startup runs something "across the enterprise" and even Larry Ellison yawns when he hears your business plan. You're perfect for IBM.
- Innocent babe: "Babe" means "infant," as your pastel-colored microsite shows. Hell, you're still in a cozy incubator, hiding behind a private beta. Quick, before you have to put out a public product, sell to Google.
- Hot babe: "Babe" means "smokin'," 'cause your beta brings all the boys to the yard. You're social, you're sexy, you're on the cover of Newsweek. You'd fit in with the beautiful people at Yahoo.
- Anyone, anyone at all: You breathe. You can talk. You've never worked for MSN. Oh dear lord please come to Microsoft.
- Hollywood, babe: "Babe" meaning "Let's do lunch." Everyone knows the Internet is the new TV. Tony Perkins taught you the buzzwords, and your teenager taught you the attitude. Set a custom Nickelback ringtone for Fox Interactive.
Pick of the Crop [WSJ]