Monday Morning Box Office: Jen And Vince End Ratner's ReignEnjoy the weekend box office numbers, which are 67 percent less Ratnertastic than last week's troubling, record-shattering results.

1. The Break-Up—$38.1 million
On Friday, a Universal distribution executive seemed to hint that there was no such thing as a "Jennifer Aniston movie fan," as the studio was banking on "Vince Vaughn fans as well as the romantic comedy audience" to turn out for the opening weekend. Today, however, the existence of the Bigfoot-like group has been proven, as we doubt that the Vaughn/Rom-co ticket-buying block could have been responsible for the entire $38.1 million gross; we estimate that Anistonites must have chipped in at least $4-5 million of the take, camping out in packs of four to six people at multiplexes around the country, demonstrating their commitment to the star by wearing festive, rainbow-colored wigs representing the iconic "Rachel" hairstyle.

2. X-Men: The Last Stand—$34.35 million
Brett Ratner, the onetime King of Hollywood, has been unceremoniously dethroned by Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, but at least Ratner gained yet another record to hold over idol/inferior Steven Spielberg's head: the biggest post-Memorial Day weekend drop-off in history (67 percent). Let's see if he can still get a table at Hunan Cafe without a reservation once the proprietress hears about his ugly tumble from glory.

3. Over the Hedge—$20.6 million
Over the Hedge star Bruce Willis' Voice continues to enjoy the fruits of the movie's box office run, as Page Six will report tomorrow that it's engaged in a torrid, if age-inappropriate, phone-sex affair with Lindsay Lohan.

4. The Da Vinci Code—$19.3 million
Pleased that offending Catholics yielded some impressive worldwide grosses, Sony plans on a more inclusive approach for sequel Angels & Demons, hoping that a touch of Muslim-baiting will bring not only a fatwa against planned director Ron Howard, but a flood of moviegoers anxious to see what all the fuss is about.

5. Mission:Impossible III—$4.67 million
As a morale-boosting measure, Paramount emperor Brad Grey has installed a ticker above the lot's commissary that counts in real time how much more money M:i:III has made than Poseidon.