Apple's buying Nintendo

CNET thinks Apple will buy Nintendo. Oh yeah, that's totally true, don't you think? For so many reasons:

  • Apple doesn't make computers, it makes appliances. Nintendo doesn't make gaming systems, it makes toys.
  • It'd be the Brangelina of technology — they're both so goddamn sexy, everyone fantasizes about them getting it on.
  • In fact, the celebrity tryst aura (as explained on the Beeb show, Coupling: If enough people fantasize about two celebrities having sex, they'll be drawn to each other) makes iNintendo a certainty.
  • Pixar's already an old toy — that's why Steve was willing to share it. Nintendo's new and shiny again!

But it's also not true:

  • What happens when two beauties mesh? Hermaphrodite happens.
  • Think it's annoying when every damn commuter is playing an iPod? Now switch those out for Nintendo DS thumbcandy. Mayhem.
  • No, actually it has to be true. Steve Jobs needs to buy designer-and-surrogate-son Jonathan Ive a reverse Father's Day present.

Crave Talk: Is Nintendo the apple of Apple's eye? [CNET, illo stolen from there too]