This image was lost some time after publication.

As Seth noted on Friday, I was once again able to trick the guard stationed by my Lucite blogging prison to lean in close enough for me to chew off his tongue, steal his Gawker Media Security uniform, and briefly escape into the outside world. But like any thoroughly brainwashed Nick Denton employee, I still squandered my brief period of freedom on business, hopping on the first flight to the UK so I could personally apologize on my boss's behalf to every British citizen for potentially destroying their interest in Hello!'s exclusive first photographs of Angelina Jolie's baby. Once that task was completed, I was invited to Parliament to flip a switch that restored access to Defamer and Gawker for the UK's gossip-loving population. I was told that "Posh and Becks" were on hand at the lavish ceremony, but as an ugly American, I had no idea that these were people and not unappetizing pub food. I learned so very much on my mission of peace.

But now, back to work. —Mark