Even if you don't have a vagina (perhaps especially if you don't have a vagina), we bet you were thinking about vaginas today, much like you have every day since 1996, when Eve Ensler invented the vagina for her fabulously successful show The Vagina Monologues. Ensler, who's made more money off of vaginas than anyone since Heidi Fleiss (Ha ha! Get it?) is the reigning queen of Vaginaland, and has no qualms about tooting her own vagina. "The way you get people to deal with something is to saturate them with it," she tells The New York Times. "I can feel everywhere in the city that I go that people are talking about it, thinking about it." (Insert your own Chelsea joke here.) Ensler is expanding her "vagina franchise" a global movement and nonprofit charity fuelled by "vagina warriors", with a series of vagina-themed films and shows happening around New York this week. There are even plans for a message to be shown on the scoreboard at Yankee Stadium, imploring fans to call opposing players "vagina" instead of the usual "pussy."* While some may find Ensler a bit self-serving or full of herself, we've got nothing but admiration for her: She's a role model to any number of twats in this city who hope to follow in her vaginasteps.
*Curt Schilling may still be referred to as "cocksucker."