From the wilds of Harlem comes a heartwarming story of a playground, a park official, and his beloved cock. A scrappy rooster, perhaps a retired cockfighter, has taken up residence at the Frederick Johnson playground, pecking and crowing and shitting all over its perch on the monkeybars for the past two weeks. And while he may not be as patriotic as the DHS's terror turkey, the Harlem cock is a great, exciting pet:
One park official said the rooster grappled with a large dog last week and ominously stated that the bird "fears no man". The official also said that he's been feeding it food scraps, which is sweet and all, but with that potentially population-diminishing Avian flu pandemic you'd figure he would stop feeding it and, um, HAVE HAD IT FUCKING REMOVED BY NOW.