This fine summer day marks the 60th birthday of Donald Trump, and the 35th birthday of his comb-over. Doesn't it seem like just yesterday that our little Trumpie was screaming at his incompetent Lincoln Logs? Let's take a moment to remember how it all began:

On this day in 1946, in what we can only assume was a "top-of-the-line" maternity ward, Donald J. Trump went "down to the street," as it were, and emerged from the exclusive confines of his mother's family compound, known as TRUMP: Womb.

Shortly thereafter, at the unveiling of his mother's breasts, he saluted the unique partnership that saw the expulsion of the placenta, leading to a sudden and "visionary" drop in progesterone/oestrogen/HPL numbers, which then led to TRUMP: Lactogenesis. Before nursing, the infant declared that his mother's right breast was "The finest in the world, the teat of Presidents, Kings, Sultans, a mammary gland for winners who have the guts to dream of Colostrum (later named TRUMP: Colostrum- On-Nipple). Do you have what it takes...to suckle?"

Coincidentally, that's the same pitch he uses to introduce his wife.

June 14th, 1946: Donald Trump Negotiates Deal With Existence [This Day in Mythstory]

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