Well. That was interesting.
After a week of our panties getting consistently in a bunch over Britney's tete-a-tete with Matt Lauer, Thursday night was like a bitter, white-trash slap in the face. For one excruciating hour, we could barely hear a word of what Britney said over the screaming of her terrible, shameful extensions and the snapping of her gum.
What we did gather:
Britney is a sad child — yes, a child. It's clear that her brain stopped developing at the age of 17, when she first became successful. And because technically she's but 17-years-old, we really can't expect her to not marry a freakishly attractive thug, walk around in curlers, dress chavishly, and endanger her baby. But you can't fault Britney for it; as she made clear, she's but a southern girl who wants nothing more than to spit out as much therapy-speak as possible and show off her mastery of air-quotes.
In the end, we weren't laughing. We were remarkably saddened by the whole thing, saddened by how cute Britney used to be (those old video clips from "Oops" brought about much head-shaking), saddened by how her $100 million can't buy a proper makeup job (what was that glob in her mascara?), saddened by the rats' nest in the back of hair (such an unfortunate camera angle), and above all else, saddened by Matt Lauer's wingtips worn without socks (producers, please start doing your job).
On the bright side, at least she's got that impossibly moisturized (dare we say oiled?) mom-boob thing going for her.