Underemployed Former 'Friends' Cast Member Jurisprudencewatch

Former Friends star/brave lil' Broadway sailor David Schwimmer has triumphed against a crooked celebrity fundraising event organizer, who claimed Schwimmer had been bribed with "two gold Rolex watches worth $26,413" in exchange for attending a charity event. Schwimmer categorically denied the accusation, and now has the full backing of the law to support that:

"I feel vindicated by the judgment," Schwimmer said in a statement. "Also, I am pleased that Aaron Tonken has set the record straight and admitted that his statements about me demanding two Rolex watches to attend a charity event were untrue."

To put the outrageousness of the claim in perspective, Schwimmer was at the time earning the equivalent of 77 $13,000 Rolexes a week to utter some variation of, "We were on a break!" (Or 1,694 Rolexes per season.) Still, in a town where 8-figure-earners can regularly be overheard whining to Fred Segal cashiers to "not forget my 10% famous person discount!" every shiny, ticking kickback is worth at least a second look.