Your answers to this week's guessing game are in, and they're going to shake the entire blind item industry to its very core. But before you move on to your cataclysm-beckoning guesses, bone up on One Diva-Damning Blind Vice:
Ted sez: "Hell hath no fury like a homo threatened, that's fer sure. A few weeks ago I told you all about Jiggly Wiggle-Poof, this queen America is so busy watching be outwardly hetero but inwardly so "show tunes and smart cocktails" it's pathetic. See, Jiggly got his rise to fame via sexual and other transactions with a well-heeled, fellow-closeted homo, a fact Mr. Wiggle-Poof goes to great lengths to hide. However, over at the Hollywood offering on which Mr. Wiggle-P. performs, there lies another pooftah who's far less caring about his sexuality. Name's Press Prune. In fact, Press could give a Homo Depot clerk's ass if anybody discusses his bedroom habits, just for the record." Read the item.
You say: Your guesses are after the jump:
You say: In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, a plurality of readers believed this week's blind item to be self-referential, identifying Jiggly Wiggle-Poof as Ryan Seacrest and Press Prune as—here it comes!—Ted Casablanca himself, as both are employees of the "booby-tubey" E! network. Don't be alarmed by the strange sensation of your rapidly liquefying brain leaking from your ear—the entire universe will be sucked into a gossip-generated black hole before you have a chance to die from the cerebral melting.
You also say: Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell. Oh, please. Do you think for one second that the Gay Mafia would allow one of its members to wear anything as tragically unfashionable as Cowell's signature flat-top/butt-cut hybrid on such a high-rated program?
You also say: Eddie Murphy, Ashton Kutcher, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Eric McComack & Sean Hayes.
And The Andy Dick/Dakota Fanning Memorial "You Also Say" Item Goes To: Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson and Vince Vaughn.
Thanks to everyone for playing!