Who cares about market share and search algorithms — an exhuberant Yahoo intern just inadvertently showed why working at Google totally beats working at Yahoo. Paul Stamatiou blogged his reasons for loving Yahoo without realizing what he's missing at Google.
[Update: Hi, Diggers! If this article seems immature, that's because it's satire! Enjoy, and remember that people who read the front page get free drugs and candy!]
- Google's free food beats Yahoo's free drinks. And Yahoo's "Starbucks-type caffeine vendors" ain't got nothing on Google's mango lassi machine. (You had to look up "mango lassi," didn't you? You poor soul. Googlers know what mango lassis are and they drink them for lunch.)
- "The coders are sociable!" he says. Yeah, Paul, that means you'll have to make banter. With geeks. Try that on a non-mango-lassi-filled stomach.
- Paul gets to hang around famous bloggers Jeremy Zawodny and Caterina Fake. Oh, that's really exciting, that's so—MATT CUTTS, BITCH.
- Paul like's Yahoo's foosball. Foosball (pictured). Dude, the Jumpcut office has foosball, and they've got, like, ten employees and no air conditioning.
- What about massages?
- Everyone at Yahoo is on Yahoo Instant Messenger. Unlike the real world, where everyone's on AIM except that one "fight the power" AOL hater. And she's on Skype.
- Name for Yahoo HQ: Yahoo HQ. Name for Google HQ: Googleplex. You got owned. As the kids say, you got pwned. You got punned.
Next up: Why Yahoo is more fun than Google.