Hollywood PrivacyWatch Special Edition: Ashton Kutcher Expects No VIP Elevator Treatment

In the spectrum of embarrassing public celebrity moments, nothing comes close to the perennial classic Famous Person Falling Down. Failing accidental injury, however, you can never go wrong with the nearly as satisyfing Celebrity Mistakenly Overestimating Their Own Importance. The following Ashton Kutcher sighting sent in by a Defamer operative is about as perfect a specimen of the latter category as could possibly exist:

I work in the CNN building on Sunset and Cahuenga. This morning the lobby was full of the typical bleary eyed morning cubicle creatures, a delivery guy with a dolly full of office supplies, and Ashton Kutcher- wearing wrap around shades, kabbalah bracelet, and yakking loudly on his sidekick. The security guard from the front desk approached the crowd and requested that everyone allow "this gentleman to ride the elevator alone," meaning the guy with all the office supplies. Mr. Kutcher assumed that the guard meant for him to ride the elevator alone, and replied, "Oh no, don't worry man, i'm cool."
The guard looked a bit confused and told Demi's husband that he wasn't talking to him, to which Mr. Kutcher looked a bit confused and retreated to the corner of the lobby. The next elevator arrived moments later, all the cubicle creatures filed in, as well as Mr. Kutcher still yakking away on his sidekick.

Unfortunately for Kutcher, not even a dozen red string bracelets would be powerful enough to ward off being Punk'd by God, as He giggles sadistically, delivering orders into a microphone in an unmarked control room in the sky.