· David Hasselhoff's unbelievable winning streak comes crashing down on him like a crystal chandelier that his head hit while shaving at some gym or something, we're too close to the weekend to really care.
· Jennifer Lopez uses every legal means necessary to shut her first husband up, before he spills the beans on the voodoo practices she directed towards "this particular lady." We have a feeling it involved slitting a live chicken's neck over a picture of Mariah Carey in order to make sure Glitter tanked. (Worked, too!)
· Close but no cigar, Keith Urban.
· We're glad Prime Minister Koizumi can finally dispel that tired old stereotype of the Japanese being obsessed with American celebrities and culture. (By the way, doesn't the President have, like, war shit to attend to before hitting the Karate Wing at Graceland?)
· Gold Derby has whittled down the humongous list of probable Emmy nominees to a more manageable, gigantic list, though it must not be completely accurate, because they seem to have omitted Ghost Whisperer.
· Don't feel too bad for Aaron Spelling. He's too busy training his team of SWAT-CORPSES to worry about the annoying women he left behind.