The Defamer Special Correspondent on Semi-International Movie Promotions filed this brief report (with accompanying photo) on New Line's latest attempt to grow its Snakes on a Plane buzz in Hollywood's Great Northern Backlot:
Here in Toronto's financial district today, they were doing a promotion for Snakes On A Plane. You could get your photo taken in a mock airplane with a REAL MOTHERFUCKING ALBINO BURMESE PYTHON!!! They also had a rattlesnake on hand and a whole bunch of rubber snakes in the fake plane, which blared excerpts from the trailer through big speakers on either side. It was a total immersion experience. The pièce de resistance was getting your photo printed out and handed to you by ladies in hilariously revealing "stewardess" outfits.
The combination of promo-slut and live reptiles seems potent, yet unnecessarily dangerous; it's only a matter of time before a scantily clad stewardess distracts a horny dad long enough for the motherfucking real snake on the motherfucking fake plane to squeeze a toddler to death, marring what should have been a celebration of all that's great about B-movies.