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Squeezed in at the bottom of his column, Keith Kelly reports that after 3 1/2 years at the Observer, marathon media reporter Gabriel Sherman is leaving the poor pink paper for the gilded gates of Conde Nast. Specifically, he'll be a staff writer for their forthcoming business glossy, Portfolio, where he'll never get his face-time with Robert De Niro. On the switch from media whore to regular whore, Sherman tells Gawker:

Leaving the Observer was a really tough decision. The chance to join a magazine at its birth was the only thing that could pull me away. I'm super psyched for Portfolio. And, I'll need to start getting ready for the Cafeteria, too.

Oh, don't lie — you just wanted to avoid the Wednesday noontime screenings of Meet the Fockers.

OK! Right on Target [NYP (2nd item)]