Joe Dolce Seeks Handsome, Young Slave

Good news for aspiring roman a clef authors: Star EIC Joe Dolce needs an assistant. According to the Monster.com listing:

The position will assist the Editor-in-Chief of Star Magazine in order to ensure that the magazine runs smoothly.

The Assistant will perform various administrative duties for the Editor-in-Chief such as: answering the phone, arranging travel, organizing meetings, maintaining a calendar, opening and sorting mail and maintaining files and records, among other responsibilities. You will gain first hand knowledge of the in and outs of publishing a weekly magazine as well as get experience with working with all departments of the magazine.

In addition to a minimum one year's experience as an editorial assistant, applicants must have strong written and verbal communication skills, problem solving skills and, if necessary, a willingness to take public blame for all of Dolce's erroneous pregnancy predictions.

Editorial Assistant, American Media Inc. [Monster]