Everything in this Post piece on David Gest is comical in its own particular way, starting with opening line "Sorry, boys - David Gest isn't gay." (Even casting aside the obvious objection to the statement, what boys are we supposed to be sorry for?) But what particularly caught our eye wasn't the "revelation" that staunchly hetero Dave likes him some black chicks, or that his bodyguard is "so straight that, before he got married, he once had sex with seven women in one night, bringing them all to multiple orgasms," (Good Lord, we'd fall asleep trying to put the second condom on). No, it was this particular tidbit, ""He would talk about what he did with women, and that he likes to use whipped cream and cherries," which doesn't sound at all like the desperate attempts of someone inexperienced in the ways of man-on-woman love to convince others of his heterocity. Jeez, Dave, haven't you seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin? From now on just tell folks that you like to stick it in them until you finish. You know, like actual straight guys do.