We at Defamer realize that once Hollywood-obsessed visitors on the loose in our fine city are done gaping at the celebrated names lining the Walk of Fame, measuring their appendages against those of the stars immortalized in the concrete in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre (note to male tourists: avoid laying your genitals in Bruce Willis' infamous penis-imprint—you'll thank us later), and have escaped the Tickle Me Elmo who won't stop shoving them until they hand over five dollars for a Polaroid, they may be at a loss for further activities to fill the rest of their time here. Accordingly, we are happy to share an exciting opportunity offered by a pair of Craigslist-enabled entrepreneurs promising a one-of-a-kind experience for the adventure-hungry traveler:
Unique Touristic Experience for People Visiting Los Angeles Are you visiting Los Angeles this summer with friends and family and looking for a totally unique LA Experience. Well I think I just might have it.
I'd like to invite you to come clean my apartment. Yes thats right a real Los Angeles apartment, in the heart of old Hollywood. Whats even better is that while you work tidying up my tasteful 20's era space you will be regaled with stories of hollywood old and new, as told by a real working Director(me) and my Screenwriter roommate. Wow! But it gets even better. While you and your family clean my place (once occupied by Johnny Depp in his 21 Jump Street days) I'll be photographing the whole thing. Big Beautiful professional photos that you'll be able to take home and show friends. Just think of it, large 8x10 photos of you and the kids cleaning and deodorizing my stainless steel refrigerator.
Who knows what else could happen, maybe one of my up & coming actor friends will stop by for a chat and some autographs. We're talking real b-c list celebrities here people, up close and personal(but no touching beyond a polite handshake)
And when you're all done cleaning and scrubbing we'll treat you and your party to a coffee and donut (or comparably priced snack) at our local koreatown starbucks. After which each visitor will be presented with a personalized t-shirt commemorating the experience.
That's not even the best part. The whole thing; getting to clean my apartment, hollywood stories, photos, coffee,t-shirt and possible celebrity meeting..is FREE.
Now people this is not a scam or some creepy sex thing. Anyone looking to do more than just clean my place and hear some gossip will be promptly thrown out. I would rate this entire experience at PG (G if you don't want me to tell some of our more colorful hollywood stories)..we want to be open to everyone. ALso you may not clean in the nude or anything overtly sexual. Normal tourist attire is required(excluding Day-Glo which has been known to irritate my downstairs neighbors' American Staffordshire Terrier.
Apply soon everyone. Our calendar is already filling up; as we only expect needing to clean our apartment 2-3 times a week this summer.
What are you waiting for People...Come be a part of the dream.
David & Bill
*for more info please free to email us anytime. ;)
p.s. we will provide all cleaning equipment and supplies
Have fun on your trip, but remember: Should the dismembered remains of you and your loved ones wind up taking a tour of Hollywood's most glamorous dumpsters (or perhaps even worse, should the promised B- and C-List celebrities turn out to be Mastersons), don't blame us.