Breaking up with someone is always a delicately executed affair: You don't want to insult the dismissee by callously dropping a text message alerting them to their newly single status, but a romantic, candlelit dinner capped with the presentation of a cake iced to read "Happy Dumping" can quickly cross the line into overdoing-it territory. Thank heavens, then, for aging actresses with past reputations of being interminably difficult bitches, and the basic cable reality shows they tend to host. On Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty, you can now part ways with that special, dead weight in your life by having the one-time Aaron Spelling muse do it for you in front of an intimate audience composed of Oxygen network's viewership:
Doherty, 35, helps those in need of ending relationships by creating fictitious circumstances to get the two people in a room together so she can watch their behavior — and then step in herself. [...]
The process is as simple as lying to a louse called Steven, luring him to a restaurant under the guise of appearing on a cooking show with his girlfriend, and having Doherty appear. That's right, Doherty does the dirty work — and we mean dirty. This guy, unaware that he's being watched, at first hits on Doherty by asking her if she's ovulating. When Doherty reveals his relationship is over, he announces he's relieved.
Of course, not all the scenarios are quite as cut-and-dry, and we'll certainly be tuning in for the episode in which the blubbering IT programmer with nothing to live for but the girlfriend he adores so much is given the brusque heave-ho by Brenda Walsh, upon which he instantly produces a handgun from his man satchel and proceeds to blows his head off as a blood-and-brain-splattered Doherty looks to her producers for guidance.
