Before He Was Dirk Diggler, He Was Just Another Guy In Boxer Briefs With A Dream

Mark Wahlberg, colorless star of the silver screen and Entourage's inspiration, was once just Marky Mark, a Calvin Klein underwear gigolo and hip-hop-lite star with big aspirations. A shopper at the Venice Beach Out of the Closet thrift store stumbled upon a VHS demo reel, which, aside from mispelling his name on the label (easily the error of the dubbing facility entrusted to make copies), appears to be a shoddily, self-assembled time capsule of the star's collected masterworks up to that time. It's now available to the highest bidder:

It has a couple of Calvin Kline (sic) commercials, every scene Wahlberg was in in "Renaissance Man" and a music video for a song whose title is, I think, "No, I Don't Have a Gun" (although it could be "No, I Don't Have Any Gum;" he slurs his words, it's hard to tell).

It's so amateurishly done, I suspect that Marky Mark made it himself.

It's home VCR quality and there are no transitions or titles between the scenes. He's included some scenes from "Renaissance Man" where Wahlberg doesn't speak at all, and no competent editor would have done that. The music video still has the time code on it, like he'd pirated a rough cut before it appeared on MTV.

We encourage interested parties to bid quickly and often, as mementos harkening back to a superstar's humble roots are almost always hunted down and destroyed by their people, rendering any surviving curiosities from the era hugely valuable. It's silly, yes, but the public would almost prefer to think of major celebrities as having hatched fully-formed by space egg sent from a far-off, A-list universe, than having slummed their way to the top by allowing closeted fashion designers to drool all over them in nothing but undies.