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Valleywag's conference correspondent, the ConFonz, is slowly turning his column here into Fear and Loathing in San Jose. Enjoy.

Oh, what? This isn't a conference about the most underused piece of punctuation in the western language paradigm? Well; that would explain all of these silicon wafers and robot arms. SemiCon; eh? That's what this badge says.

The old Fonzie is bleary-eyed and tired, and his old glazzies are having trouble reading these damn press releases. Oh; here's an interesting one with some sort of rubber tube taped to the inside of the binder!

And what's this? No after parties? No official after parties anyway. There's nothing listed inside of the schedule, so it looks like the old Fonz will have to head over to Dave's afterwards and....

Wait a minute. What's that; over there behind the sleek white Korean wafer mover. Why,it's a bar! And look, over there! Taps! Sweet Jebus, there's another! And a wine bar over there too! Well then, things are looking up!

This massive show floor has a high suit content, but it sure does dish up the free booze, and at 10 AM, no less! Finally, a conference that lives up to the Fonzie's expectations; Ayyyyyyyyyyye!

Classic ConFonz: ConFonz at the IEEE Microwave Thingie at the Moscone [Valleywag]