The Guttenberg Cometh III: Feverish Alien Jew Academy Sequel Not As Entertaining As Original

At last year's TCA press tour, 1980s screen-acting eminence Steve Guttenberg thrilled some deeply bored TV-beat journalists by offering them some colorful copy (read: highly entertaining, though utterly batshit, ramblings) about the state of his career. Yesterday, perhaps sensing that a repeat performance of his now-trademarked brand of stream-of-consciousness insanity might earn him some more publicity, the actor unloaded with both addled barrels, giving a delighted Zap2it.com reporter enough white-hot crazy to melt his tape recorder. Thus spake The G t:

"I'm doing something, it's actually called 'Jew Fever.' It's this kind of a cool Hallmark show that I think is going to be sort of a... it's actually coming from the Right, but it's really cool. It's about this family, you know. They live in Ohio and they're farmers and pretty conservative, pretty right wing and this Jew comes in, actually comes in from space. I guess he lands on some sort of ... I don't know exactly what the story is. I just thumbed through it. I wasn't able to bring the script home. But I guess this Martian, sort of like 'Mork & Mindy,' he lands in their backyard, big like 'Superman' thing, and they run out there and they pop open this egg, and this little Jew jumps out. Now I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not very Jew-y looking. I'm sort of semi-Jew-y looking. I could be maybe Italian? You know, in the right position? But I could be Jew-y too. So I come out and I look kind of Jew-y..."

There is much, much more of it, far too much to excerpt here. And while it's all suitably wacky, there are only so many times you can watch Officer Mahoney besmirch Lt. Mauser with poo before you start to feel like they're just going through the feces-smearing motions to collect a paycheck.