Oh Associated Press, you coy little news syndicate! How can you tease us with mentions of "friction bristling beneath the surface" of this week's Idaho media mogul retreat without sharing a story or two? Instead you leave us to imagine scenes like this:
- At the campfire sing and s'mores night, Rupert Murdoch asks Disney CEO Robert Iger to pass the marshmallows. "Gee, Rupe," says Robert. "Isn't a favor something friends do? And if I remember, I invited you to be my friend on MySpace five times? And you said no." Time Warner's CEO hands Rupert a jet-puffed and the conflict is defused.
- Everyone hates Sony CEO Howard Stringer. Not because he's either suing their technology company or getting sued by their media company, but because he makes everybody call him "Sir Howard."
- Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, Google founders Larry and Sergey, and Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos build a fort and hang out trading stories and chewing tobacco. When Meg Whitman tries to come in, they put up a "No eBay CEOs" sign.
- Intel chairman Craig Barrett spends the whole week praising Steve Jobs, who isn't there, which frankly everyone was glad about.
- YouTube CEO Chad Hurley comes out of Time Warner CEO Richard Parsons's tent looking flushed and sweaty. He spends a lot of time gazing off into the hills after that.
- Nike chairman Philip Knight makes the stupid mistake of bringing one — ONE — pair of Adidas, and it's all over after that.