Watch Your Ass, Jack Shafer

Contrary to the below: Jack Shafer at Slate rudely dissects the dynamics of success behind the New York Times' drearily infamous "What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage." Since the NYT article features author Amy Sutherland applying animal behavioral training to her husband Scott, Shafer should know the likely consequences of provoking a man brainwashed like Shamu. Marine biology documentary Orca (1977) has this to say about the title character's psychology:

The killer whale, is one of the most intelligent creatures in the universe. Incredibly, he is the only animal other than man who kills for revenge.

He has one mate, and if she is harmed by man, he will hunt down that person with a relentless, terrible vengeance — across seas, across time, across all obstacles.

This ain't no Free Willy . In other words, Mr. Amy Sutherland will shortly be mauling Shafer like a harbor seal.

How To Write a Hit Article [Slate]