If the Tennis Channel challenges you to ping-pong, run away

Forget foosball and bowling — The Tennis Channel ping-pong team upped the ante for geek not-really-sports competitions when, still high from a victory over Activision, it swept a twelve-game match against Googlers in Santa Monica. The very serious press release follows.

From: [Moglen, Brandon]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2006 1:03 PM
To: All Employees
Subject: Tennis Channel Crushes Google

Tennis Channel Crushes Google

July 13, 2006

Santa Monica, CA (AP) — Google, the most powerful search engine in the world and a company valued at more than 100 billion dollars, was thoroughly routed in Table Tennis by The Tennis Channel. Defying all odds, The Tennis Channel's Table tennis squad beat Google at Google's Santa Monica office 6 matches to 1.

Yahoo!'s stock is up 1.4% on the news.

Team Captain Brandon Moglen wasn't surprised at the victory. "I use Google every day. And believe me, today, they got used."

Google laid out a fantastic spread of beer, wine and spirits to try and soften up the TTC team, but none of it worked ... though after the match the keys were taken away from Brad Falkner.

Falkner had the first win at #5 singles ...setting the tone with a 11-0, 11-7 win. Next up was Mike Kim, who was edged 11-9, 11-9 in two close games. Josh Ross got things back on track with a 11-7,11-7 win. At #2 singles, Brandon Moglen won convincingly 11-5, 11-3. #1 Nitin (King Kong of Ping Pong) Varma took out Google's top player 11-9, 11-7 to clinch it for TTC. Doubles was just a formality at that point, but TTC's teams of Ross/Kim and Varma/Moglen never let down and swept both matches.

Google has requested a rematch ... but only after putting in "How do you beat the Tennis Channel" into their search engine. It is reportedly the only phrase on Earth that comes up with 0 matches. Pictures of the epic victory are below. More Photos can be found on the Shared Drive/Ping Pong. The Tennis Channel Ping Pong team is 2-0 lifetime after beating both Activision and Google.