Given that making fun of (or even mentioning) metrosexuals ceased to offer any sport or reward some time ago, it's good that we now have the entirely manufactured backlash against metrosexuality to mock. The New York Post is on stereotype-reinforcement patrol, never fear. Jokey masculinity experts like "Tucker Max" and "Maddox" have books to shill and brands to build, so get with the program and help American men get their balls back. Research indicated that manly men were "angry" that "advertisers were out of touch with their interests." Remember how enraged you were the last time an advertiser didn't cater to your interests? God, that pisses us off too. Hope awaits after the jump.
To compensate for the groundswell in manly interest-coddling, products must realign away from male cosmetics to, well, more testosteroney male cosmetics.
Always hungry for a new demographic target, advertisers have picked up on this anger - most noticeably in the campaign for Axe Snake Peel body scrub, "The Order of the Serpentine."
These faux-self-help ads purport to save men from the humiliation of the "questionable hookup," citing female bodybuilders and circus freaks like "the bearded lady" and "Lizard Girl" as examples of women with whom one should never wake up in bed. "Scrub away the dirty feelings," the ads advise.
So, your "body peel" has a snake on the label and comes wrapped in tepidly crass misogyny? Newsflash: You're still gay.