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• In an effort to prove herself as a serious actress, child star Dakota Fanning will appear naked and in a rape scene for the movie Hounddog. Also, this may be the first and only time Lloyd Grove succeeds in a jaw-dropping item. Way to go out with an extremely uncomfortable bang, buddy. [Lowdown]
• Britney Spears reveals her hidden literary talent, revealing on her website her secret passion for tigers. It's some of her best work, featuring multisyllabic words like "mesmerized" and "mysteriousness." [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton has feelings too, you know. When TMZ readers call her "an overused human condom," it hurts Hilton, who calls the comments "mean and sadistic." That's a big word, Paris — now try telling us what it means. [TMZ]
• "Somebody" hacks into Lindsay Lohan's BlackBerry and uses it to send all sorts of unfavorable messages to her friends. Seems as if young Hollywood is plagued by this sort of problem more than gonorrhea. [Page Six]
• 31 years later, Rolling Stone Keith Richards is pardoned for getting stoned in Memphis. [R&M (last item)]
• Haley Joel Osment is old enough to drive and get in an accident. [People]
• Daniel Baldwin is old enough to drive and get in an accident and have no one give a shit. [BBC]