Tom Cruise Celebrity Centre pal and freelance OTR III Infant Actuality Verificationist Leah Remini has once again acted as peacemaker between the Suri-embargoing Cruise camp and the glossy magazines desperate for any shred of proof of the possibly mythical offspring's existence, upgrading her claim to Us Weekly to have seen the child to an intimation that she's had physical contact with the tyke for People:
Remini says she held Suri during a recent visit to the couple's home in Los Angeles.
Cruise and Holmes are "just great parents," Remini says. "There wasn't a second she was out of their arms except when I held her."
Remini, however, kept things maddeningly vague by not offering assurances that Suri was of "normal" weight for a three-month-old, a willful omission that will likely result in theories that a mishap during the extrautero incubation process left the baby either hollow or startlingly dense for a newborn.
Meanwhile, over at Slate, Kim Masters comes down firmly in the "Suri is real, they just don't want you to see her" camp, with a report that War of the Worlds producer Kathy Kennedy and husband Frank Marshall were granted an audience with the elusive infant back in Telluride:
Let's get this out of the way right now: Much as we hate even to touch on this question, there are in fact people who have seen baby Suri. Among them: producers Frank Marshall and Kathy Kennedy (they're married; she produced War of the Worlds). They saw the baby in Telluride, Colo., very recently and told friends that all seemed quite ordinary.
Once Masters puts the nasty Suri business behind her, she looks at the strained relationship between Cruise and Steven Spielberg, a feud complicated by Cruise's surprise appearance to give Spielberg a lifetime achievement award in Chicago—as well as by Spielberg's flack's shifty refusal to confirm or deny our operative's report that the actor brought Suri to Amblin headquarters last month for a little Sear's Portrait Studio time with Uncle Steven.
Even with the new baby confirmations and feud updates, everything Cruise-related remains as reliably weird as ever, and we can all take a strange comfort in that fact. Let us now return to important business of staring glassy-eyed at the When Will We See Suri? Clock until the next famous person comes forth to tesify to their totally normal experience with the Miracle Baby.