Remainders: George Michael, Master of Cruising

• We really ARE overdue for a George Michael assfucking scandal, aren't we? Don't worry, it's about to get much better: the former pop star was caught having a "seedy liason" in a public park with the hot piece of twat pictured at right. 58-year-old unemployed van drivers who live with their cat sure are irresistible, aren't they? [Sun UK]
• Tomorrow Russell Simmons will be named a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador, putting him on the well-worn path to becoming Angelina Jolie. Perhaps he's splitting with Kimora over whether or not to adopt an Ethiopian AIDS orphan. [FishbowlNY]
• You know what's wrong with magazine publishing? The people who are running it, specifically those at the Magazine Publisher's Association who believe a mascot named Captain Read is going to do a goddamned thing other than inspire mockery and ensure irrelevancy. [AdAge]
• Though we wouldn't put it past Simon Dumenco to hook up with Cap'n Read. [AdAge]
• Conde Nast will master these internets yet, even if it means going the route of incredibly boring trade sites. [Craigslist]
• Is somene pushing a Times-ian frenzy surrounding the raising admission fee for the Met? At the current rate, they'll churn out 60 pieces by November, which will almost be enough to satisfy Bill Keller. [Seth Mnookin]
• It doesn't matter how fantastic a "trailer" for a book may be, because it'll never half as good as the trailer for Snakes on a Plane. That's just a fact. [Guardian]
• Greg Gutfeld's still life with Arianna Huffington. [HuffPo]
• Dallas Mavericks bloggy freakshow Mark Cuban has an open job offer for anyone who can think of a new way to market movies. On the downside, you'll be working for Mark Cuban. [Blog Maverick]
Who Wore It Best? — crotchety Sun Valley mogul edition! [WSJ]
• Why does the Regal Union Square movie theater smell like Chinatown on a simmering July afternoon? [Cinecultist]