Jason Calacanis Poaching Form Letter: Advice and an Offer for the Staff of Teen People

I see it's true you've left Time Inc.

You're a great talent, everyone knows that, and you're gonna get a ton of offers over the next couple of days. I'd like to give you some unsolicited advice and make you an offer as well. Above all else you need to keep your head out of the toilet and stop dreaming about a job at Teen Vogue. That's not right for you at this point (it was OK a year ago when, frankly, you were not as incrementally more employable like you are now).

You're on the top of the talent pool in defunct third-string teen mags and you should get compensated for what you've done. You don't have a huge window of opportunity — you need to act now and you should get paid *now*. This is what I told Peter when I recruited him from Gizmodo, Elizabeth when I tried to (and failed) recruit her from Gawker, and this is the same advice I told myself when I sold Weblogs Inc. to the less profitable half of your former corporate parent.

When you're the talent you build brand equity, you cash in on that brand and then come crawling back for the scraps. You are at that very moment right now.. you need to take the first offer that comes along.

So, my offer to you is $1,000 a month in exchange for shoveling links. You're a star baby... it's time to be treated like one. Ask the other stars who work with me how I treat my talent and I think they'll all tell you that I fight and fight for my people like a strong, virile, sexy bear. (sort of like the [pls insert pop culture reference the chicks like — thx, jason], am I right girls?).

You know where I'm at... hit the AOL human resources website if you're interested.

best regards,

Jason

[Photo: TMD]