• Famous words from the world's best children's entertainer, who has now been sacked from PBS for once appearing in an abstinence parody wherein she said the following: "I've got big plans for my future: a good college, a career, maybe even my own business someday. But one thing I'm not planning on is getting pregnant. That's why I choose anal sex. I mean sure, it hurts a little, and I wind up walking funny for a day or two. But I think my future's worth it." [Salon]
• Scarlett Johansson signs a multi-year deal with Reebok to develop some sort of inevitably pink-hued clothing line called "Scarlett Hearts Rbk." Way to throw all of your hard work down the drain, missy. [Brandweek]
• Get Tabloid Wars — and Greg Gittrich — free on iTunes! [iTunes]
• Usefulness aside, we're getting a little sick of the 17 different star systems New York mag uses for their restaurant reviews. [Eater]
• Today in the world of inexplicable shit: Yvette Clarke has hired Ronn [sic] Torossian to help with her congressional campaign. [Daily Politics]
• OMG, so, like, Nick Lachey is totes gonna be on TRL tomorrow. We can't wait to watch Vanessa Minnillo go down on him in front of a live studio audience! [ONTD]

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