Online gossip Mario Lavandeira was on Howard Stern this morning, yapping about whatever celebrity's drink he held last night — but when Stern asked him whether or not he worked for the celebrity weeklies, Lavandeira got more clammy than a diarrhetic's hands. He responded that he simply couldn't answer that question, explaining (to paraphrase), "I signed all these agreements, I can't even say I worked there." Lavandeira then added that every single one of the gossip rags printed lies, save for Us Weekly and People. Of course, this comes from a man who regularly contributed to In Touch — so he would know. Bauer, meanwhile, must be thrilled.