On a day so utterly clotted with both gay- and blow-related news, we wouldn't dare keep you in suspense about your responses to the gay/blow blind item guessing game. But before you move on to the good stuff, stick a little more Two Old-School Blind Vices up your nose:
Ted sez: "Okay, okay, so I will do—so to speak—the guy dish first: See, there's this boob-tube celeb who's, like, rather good-looking. Meatless Member has a nice face. Decent arms 'n' legs, sweet smile—but not exactly a whole lotta sausage cookin' in the kitchen down below. I mean, it was very nervy of M.M. to start having sex with other guys in the pool, what with every bitchy fag around, just waiting to spill the beans with no frank, as it were...
"As is Shellack Attack's latest man-romping move. I mean, many folks know Shellack's got a thing for the showier, naughtier boys—despite S.A.'s heart o' gold appeal. And this latest romance Ms. A.'s so very visibly involved in is hardly the surprise in that regard." Read the item.
You say: Your guesses are after the jump:
You say: Meatless Member: Many of you apparently believe that Ted has some kind of vendetta against E! co-worker Ryan Seacrest, as you've once again identified him as the solution to one of Casablanca's homo-riddles. One can only imagine what interoffice slight could have touched off such a bitter catfight between on-air personalities. If Seacrest ever decides to fight back and fuck with The Ted, he should first ask himself if they've found Steve Kmetko's body yet.
Shellack Attack: You say Heather Locklear, but we think that David Spade would probably stretch the term "naughty boy" to an absurd length.
You say: Please associate the following names with the the blind item characters of the appropriate gender: Matthew Perry, Matt LeBlanc, Mischa Barton, Sean Hayes, Patrick Dempsey, and Chad Michael Murray.
And The Andy Dick/Dakota Fanning Memorial "You Also Say" Item Goes To: : Candy Spelling.
Thanks to everyone for playing!