Consider the feud: It's the flame that fuels the blogosphere, the stuff that sells the glossy mags, the only reason anyone outside of barely legal dyslexic nymphets has heard of Doug Dechert. After the jump we take a quick look at a few of the feuds that have been happening this week and choose up sides.
Silent Bob vs. Crazy Blob: Let's see. Noted eccentric Nikki Finke wrote something mean about Kevin Smith's new movie I Tried To Grow As An Artist And It Bombed, Here's More Convenience Store Workers Cursing. The tubby Truffaut responded with a post that runs longer than the average line of dialogue in one of his films, which is saying something. Still, Smith used both the phrase "tempest-in-a-douchebag" and called Finke a "crackpot," which, as past experience shows, amps up the crazy. We won't see the movie, but we're scoring this one for Smith.
Giant Walking Liver vs. Lycra-Wearing Twats: After The Post's ascitic defender of all things cop-related penned a column on the menace of Critical Mass, bike riders, who run a close second to animal rights folks on the self-righteous meter, went predictably apeshit, going so far as to fact-check Steve's column, which is something the Post hasn't done in years. This is a tough call: Steve's populist ravings can claim a large part in sliding standards of discourse that we've seen over the last few years. Bike riders, on the other hand, so frequently display the arrogant self-regard of someone who knows he's more virtuous than you that you practically cheer every time you see a cab open his door on an unsuspecting Schwinn. We're gonna reluctantly give this one to Dunleavy; at least he'd be more fun to drink with.
Jessica Simpson vs. Vanessa Minnillo: All you need to know about this feud is that it's centered around Nick Lachey. Advantage: Susie Castillo.
Israel vs. Hezbollah: Yeah, right, we're going to weigh in on this. Mocking the Catholics is one thing; all you get is a blustery response from Bill O'Donohue and some thoughtful e-mails wanting to understand you. But the Jews and the Arabs? They don't pay us enough. Let's call it a draw.