Hollywood's Power Jews Pause From War Planning To React To Mel

We'd like to pause to thank the front page of the LAT's website for providing us a glimmer of perspective in this Mel Gibson debacle, which threatens to destroy the good name of Alcohol by depicting it as nothing more than the fermented nectar squeezed from the heaving, infernal bosoms of a thousand hissing succubi, and which drives powerful men to destroy their careers while under its evil influence. Sure, it may be expedient for Gibson to blame the devil juice for his current situation, but his LDL cholesterol has never been lower.

Deeper inside the LAT, the paper finally coaxes some of the Jews who cleverly cover their war-waging activities with day jobs in Hollywood into voicing their displeasure with Gibson's anti-Semitic remarks:

"It's incredibly disappointing that somebody of his stature would speak out that way, especially at this sensitive time," said Sony Pictures movie Chairwoman Amy Pascal, the only studio chief who spoke to The Times on the record. [...]

"To make all of your money from Jews in Hollywood, and then have a few drinks and say you hate Jews, is shocking," said "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" producer Arnon Milchan, an Israeli citizen. "If you are so upset with the Jews, don't work for them." [...]

"It's like throwing a nuclear bomb and saying, 'I didn't know the damage it was going to cause. I'm really sorry,' " Milchan said.

Even the head of the International Creative Management talent agency, which has represented Gibson for 18 years, felt compelled to speak out.

"I hate what he said, and so does he," said Chairman Jeff Berg. "His remarks have created a first-class mess, and he has owned up to it. You cannot spin this. This is a question not of how low you can sink, but how you can dig yourself out of this hole."

After a call from Gibson, Berg said he was trying to communicate the actor's remorse to his staff and clients.

"We're not going to back away from him in a moment of need," Berg said. "Our goal is to help him, not judge him."

Berg has wisely taken a public posture of compassionate assistance rather than censure; to show that he and his agency will be there for Gibson in his hour of greatest need, ICM will provide an around-the-clock presence at the troubled actor's suite at Promises Malibu, ensuring that all of his recovery needs are met and that no CAA poachers posing as alcoholics can poison his weakened mind with crazy ideas of defection.