David Patrick Columbia Defeats Death

Socialite captioneer and social mandarin David Patrick Columbia is most well known for running the good ship New York Social Diary. Unfortunately, it seems he took in a showing of An Inconvenient Truth. That or the heat done got him. The generally dark news here and abroad inspired the gentleman to issue this declaration:

Nothing is impossible as long as there is you and your imagination. That may be beyond naivete. But ... have you ever been confronted by the very real possibility of death? I have. I learned that the human reaction is to Do Something.

In other words, have you ever stared death in the face, punk, like David Patrick Columbia has? We have no idea what the actual possibility of death was that confronted DPC, but we're sure we can collectively come up with a better one. Therefore, the challenge: in 50 words or less, describe David Patrick Columbia confronting and overcoming death. The scenario must take place at a NYSD-appropriate party or other social function. Submit entries in the comments below or to dpcdeath@gmail.com. Winning entry receives a free copy of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition.

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